Vegas.
That is when it happened.
Downstairs filled with noise.
Bright flashing lights.
People galore.
More drama and fascination than found most places.
Yet upstairs it was calm.
Soft yellow lights.
People seated at large round tables.
There we were.
Gathered together.
Women looking for direction.
Seeking something more for their blog.
But then it happened.
Seeking something more became a realization.
Listening to her speak.
Moments of truth came.
Spoken just for me.
I didn’t really want to hear it.
Because I really think I can do it all.
But I simply cannot.
Health places limits on life.
Especially when I fail to limit myself.
And she said so eloquently what I could not say.
What I could not voice.
When I needed the strength to say it.
She felt guilty for sleeping.
It seems so silly now typing it here in this space.
But something just resonated through me.
The strength in her voice.
And she didn’t apologize once.
The guilt that eats me alive.
The to do list a mile long that keeps me awake.
Well into tomorrow.
And I spend too many nights falling asleep at the computer.
Just trying to get it all done.
I simply cannot do it all.
And I feel guilty for sleeping.
For taking time away from the tasks at hand.
When reality truly is different for me.
My health severely limits me.
And I try to pretend it does not.
But it does.
I need more sleep, not less than most people.
Yet I take way less than what I need.
Somehow denying myself seems easier at the moment.
Yet, who really suffers is my boys.
Reality means facing it.
Not running.
There are children to teach.
A life to live.
Pictures to edit.
Blogs to write.
Pins to curate.
Yet I keep on keeping on wondering when it will change.
The truth is it does change.
My boys grow and get older every day.
Every new day means one more closer to them leaving the nest.
They change.
One day they will fly away.
And I will have missed that time with them.
Precious moments no one should ever miss.
So I need to learn to be okay with sleeping.
To give myself permission to sleep.
Permission to rest.
Life will still go on…
This is my moment.
Bloggy Boot Camp Vegas 2012.
1:56 AM.
Those moments that change you…
You never know when they will happen.
4 comments
1 ping
Skip to comment form ↓
Janicec
October 19, 2012 at 9:00 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Great post! I can relate to what you are saying. Moms try to get so much done in so little time. But we need to focus most on what matters most. Thanks for sharing.
Janicec recently posted..Joshua Trees: Proof God Has a Sense of Humor and It Is Beautiful
Wendy Wright
October 22, 2012 at 10:58 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thanks Janice! Yes, there is so little time but focusing on what matters is most important. Some days those lines are blurred.
Wendy Wright recently posted..Mom’s Nite Out | November 8, 2012
Tiffanie
October 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I want to hear more about this speaker. Sounds convicting.
Wendy Wright
October 22, 2012 at 10:59 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Tiffanie, the funny part was that this was not the focus of her speaking time. Just a quick comment and off to something else, but this one hit me hard.
The luggage tag says it all | Wordless Wednesday | Choosing Love
October 24, 2012 at 1:02 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
[...] « Those moments that change you… | #BBCVegas [...]